The Sorrows Of Silence

/ Deborah

BrewNSpew Cafe – Word Of The Week

doldrums – (noun) – a state or period of inactivity, stagnation, or depression. Synonyms – inactive, quiet, slow, slack, sluggish, subdued, inert, flat, dull.

Taiki-chū no chinmoku (The Silence of Waiting)

Each day a new day

the refreshment of new things

don’t always come to pass

some days the doldrums

of the sorrows of silence

take hold once again

as I long for the Presence

to speak the promises I await

but waiting to hear seems

to be my only fate

nature’s seasons are but months

but the soul’s seasons can be years

filled with so many tears

holding on can become a weary task

it is then I must drink from Hope’s flask

to continue on to my future’s promised destiny.

~ * ~

Photo Credit:  LiTRO

14 thoughts on “The Sorrows Of Silence”

  3. A splendid poem Deborah. “but the soul’s seasons can be years”…
    “it is then I must drink from Hope’s flask”, you have a talent with words that bring tears to my eyes.

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  4. I’m serious–you are echoing my experience of the past 12 months. I reached the point where I couldn’t watch all the “church TV” programs anymore because all the promises I was eagerly claiming seemed destined for others, not me. It’s hard, painful, to have a crisis of faith in your 60’s….

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    • Thank you Ennle! I know what you mean. Five years ago I left a church where the leaders live that refined religious lifestyle filled with leaven. They spiritually raped and murdered me, rejected me because I am worldly poor and they are rich. I am still healing and it also caused me to become physically ill with autoimmune disease. God has been silent since in regards to miracles. I am in the process of re-establishing my faith I once had in Him. I am about to turn 60 at the end of this month and keep asking; “what was the point of this life on this earth?” I am waiting to see if God even has a purpose for me. ❤ 🙂

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      • Ohhhh dear Sister, I’m so sad to hear this. It is a more common experience than the church will acknowledge (too prideful). I can tell you that I’ve had to back off my addiction to “TV preachers”–I was so loyal, even sending donations, and my hopes of receiving miraculous blessings were flying sky-high…only to lead to significant disappointment and the return of Depression. I didn’t know if I just wasn’t worthy/deserving of God’s favor, or what the deal was. God told me it had nothing to do with that, was not a punishment–but rather part wilderness season, part threshing floor time-ALL meant for my benefit and GOOD. So I’ve struggled a bit to hold onto tattered faith, trying to “be still and know that HE is God”, and make adjustments as to who I listen to–what messages. I’m 66, just a bit older than you–but I can assure you that God DOES have a Great Purpose for you…in fact, you’re already in it, as you write your blog and encourage others like myself. Don’t let the Liar tell you there’s something wrong with you–a church that is full of leaven is in for rebuke/reproof and possible destruction, according to my understanding of God’s Word. Try to be patient during this season–I promise you you’ll see an abundant harvest “at just the right time”, because I’ve seen it over and over in my life. Focus on simple truths about how God created you, chose you, called you–because HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH and has a DESTINY just for YOU! Do you know who Pastor Joseph Prince is? I think he’s very trustworthy, knowledgeable and he LOVES the LORD–and he has taught us to say this: “I am the righteousness of God, In Christ” (I think it’s in Ephesians somewhere?) When we say this out loud, we are affirming our position with HIM, a position that never changes once we are saved. HE is near, regardless of whether we feel Him or not, and how we feel about ourselves and our behavior. WE BELONG TO HIM FOREVER! HIS LOVE IS FAITHFUL and EVERLASTING. Hope these words help you–I’m praying for you tonight, and everything will work out better than you can imagine. Much love, Ennle ❤

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      • Dear Sweet Ennle, thank you so much for your response. As I write this I am writing through tears running down my face because for the first time since this happened this has truly been acknowledged and I feel heard for the first time in 5 years. You are right that the church will not acknowledge this nor individual Christians–they pretend like this doesn’t happen. I have felt so alone in this and you have brought comfort to my soul. I have also been struggling with how did I lose God’s favor and no matter how hard I seek Him and His Word, I feel like I can’t get it back. I do not know if I could put into words how much soothing comfort you have brought to me through your honest, open response. I have been hurting alone and invalidated for so long. Thank you for the reminders I needed to hear! Much Love to you my Sweet Sister, Deborah ❤

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